I have said it before, letting the boyz get on the plane back to their country was HARD. My heart was being ripped out of me. At least a part of it was. I had fallen for these boyz and became their momma. I loved all of them. Except things were different with me and the oldest.
I have said before, it was easier to love the younger two. They were already healing from their past because of the loving foster home they were in. They told me over and over, they love momma, papa Ukra…. I got it. They told me they would not want to live in America forever. They wanted to stay in Ukra…. I was glad they still chose to love me and receive love from me. The oldest did not have the opportunity to be loved at that home. He was left at the orphanage. He had no family. He was alone.
He and I had to work at loving each other. It was a choice. We had to decided to give our time and efforts to each other. He was a harder one to break through. BUT HE DID IT… He decided that he would DARE TO LOVE. He risked getting hurt AGAIN. He knew that adults are not always honest. He had been hurt before. So for him this was huge. He was putting his heart on the live. He was letting me in. He was trusting me with his feelings and his story. He was trusting that I would still care after he did something wrong.
Slowly we got some of his wall down. Maybe when I would sit and just listen to him. I would ask him to tell me what he was thinking. I would take his lead in the talking. I think he learned that I was really listening to him. I could tell he was hurting. I did not say I love you. I was not to that point. Plus I did not want to give false hope to him. Love is huge. Love never fails, though it had failed him many times in the past. When I said it I wanted him to be able to believe it. I would sit and hold him and listen.
Finally, one moment as he was talking to me after being punished for fighting again, I told him I CARE ABOUT YOU. I told him with tears in my eyes. I told him he matters to me. I told him, I am here for you no matter what. I still did not say I love you. But I think he knew I did. I told him I would always be willing to listen to him. That I wanted to help him. Then he broke. He and I sat for at least 20 minutes and cried. It is a moment I will hold dear. The moment I knew I was holding my son.
A little more time passed. We grew closer. I left him a note that said, Я люблю тебе, under his pillow one morning. But I did not say the words. That night things would change. As I hugged all the boys and the oldest asked me to pray with him I said ok. I turned to walk out of the room and heard, “Mom, I love you.” That was the moment I knew for sure he saw me as MOM… not just momma (what we asked him to call me). I was MOM. I turned back to him, walked to his bed, kissed his head and said, “I LOVE YOU TOO.” The younger boys then said love you. I told them I love them too. I do love all three. God had this planned.
I feel that God planned for all the boyz to come to america together because the oldest need it. He needed to see his brothers. He needed to know they were ok. He has had the burden of parenting them for WAY TO LONG. This was good for him. They told him they loved their family. I think he needed to see and hear that so that he could let go. So that he could love again. So that he could have a family.
This boy is special. He still has faith and hope in God after all he has been through. He loves his brothers and wants the best for them. He is almost 15. He HAS A FAMILY….BECASUE he decided to DARE TO LOVE!!!! Yes You heard it right. HE HAS A FAMILY. He took a chance. He laid his heart on the line and said, here I am. I am Broken, and hurting, help me. I want to love and be loved. I want a family.
GUESS WHAT ELSE… We took a chance too… We said, let’s DARE TO LOVE HIM. We knew he was hurting. But through the fights, the hoarding, the teasing, the showing off…. we saw some thing else. We saw OUR SON.
Please join with us as we give thanks to the Lord for this beautiful boy. He will be redeemed. He will be adopted. We are so thankful to God for bringing all the boyz into our family and for showing us we have one more son. He is a gift to us. We are blessed.
Pray that God continues to go before us to soften hearts and pave our way. We are once again stepping out in faith. Trusting God in each aspect of this adoption. We may very well face issues when we get to Ukra…. We may be asking special permission for our son to come home.
Pray that God protects our son’s heart. He KNOWS he is loved, but a child that has been hurt so much can easily forget. Satan can easily get in there planting doubt. Pray for his safety as he waits for us.
Pray for our strength. Pray for our faith that it will happen. Satan always does stuff to add doubt. Satan does not like that we are redeeming another child. That another child will not end up on the streets.
To help spread the Dare to Love message and to help bring our son home we had these AWESOME shirts designed. They are 20.00 each and 2.00 shipping. Sizes, infant, toddler to XXL (additional fee) If you are interested let me know. You can email me your sizes. I will get right back with you. I will take orders until mid sept. Will bulk order them. Then will sell again! When paying by pay pal please just choose to send money to a friend! No need to mention the shirt. I will keep your email. Thanks… firstname.lastname@example.org